I Blame the Government
by Gabrielle Roe
Summary: My name is Independence Neils, but I prefer Indie. I'm fresh out of High School and I still live at home with my parents. Despite how nerdy I am, I didn't want any of them. I've read the fanfics and know it's a handful and expensive. But here I am, standing in my house with units wreaking havoc and my parents getting drunk with them.
1. Chapter 1

I ran up the stairs to my room where upon entering, I slam the door shut before Deliverance could say anything more to me. He kept shouting apology after apology but I just refused to listen. Tears slid down my face, I blubbered loudly, wanting my precious babies to come back. Deliverance tended to sleep walk some times when he was stressed out and with a job interview coming up, he was really stressed. Well, some time last night, he was walking around and the idiot opened the front door then fell on the couch, no longer walking for the rest of the night. At some point, Annie and Malishka, my dogs, ran out and there was no sign of where they could've went. It's nearly 7 o'clock, Deliverance and I have been looking around town ever since noon but no luck. Deliverance finally called Dad and Papa when we got home from our day of searching.

"Indie! Come on! It's not my fault I walk in my sleep!" Deliverance exclaimed on the other side of the door but I would have none of it. "Independence! Open the door, please!"

"Go away!" I yelled, my voice cracking as I continued to weep.

I heard him sigh then walk away from my room. Slowly, I stumbled over to my bed and just collapsed on it. There was only one thing to get my mind at least somewhat calm: Hetalia. As strange as it may seem, Hetalia is just the thing to calm down my nerves and make me laugh instead of cry. So I reached down under my bed to grab my laptop. I usually have to hide it or else Deliverance or Dad will steal it and look up who knows what on it. At first, I just watched some episodes which stopped me crying but didn't make me laugh. So I moved onto google to search for Hetalia fanfics. Mostly about Hetalia Units, how some OC either accidentally or purposely orders robots that look like the characters from Hetalia. Even though I'm not particularly fond of OC stories, these ones just peek my interest, especially since I've heard rumors going around that there is a possibility of real Hetalia units.

Just as I was criticizing yet another fanfic, mostly for a few grammatical errors, a small window appears on my screen. It was white for a second before large red letters popped up, saying "Order your own Hetalia Unit today for 50% off!" I stared at it for a second before scoffing at the idea. As much as I love Hetalia, having multiple robot versions of them inside my house, which isn't very big, would be hectic and cost me a great amount of money. I also doubt my Dad would be too happy that his youngest daughter ordered robotic men with even getting his consent.

I scrolled over the "No thank you" option and clicked it once. The window went white again and then said "Thank you for selecting 'Order now'! Please select any unit of your choosing or select our package deals!" Then various pictures of the countries popped up along with a big price.

"But I didn't click it!" I was absolutely flabbergasted. Immediately, I tried to exit out of the window, but it was one of those stupid windows that wouldn't let you exit and get on with your life. It just kept flashing and making a ding noise whenever I clicked on it. I went with the next best thing. I shutdown my laptop and turned it back on.

There was a knock on my door. It creaked open to reveal Papa, smiling softly at me.

"Hey baby girl," Papa said and jumped on my bed next to me. "Dee told us what happened."

"Papa." I whined, starting to feel the tears come back. "I just stopped crying. If you keep mentioning them, then I'll start up again!"

"I'm sorry, Baby Girl." Papa apologized and pulled me into a hug. "Tomorrow, we'll take the day off and check all the dog pounds and parks and alleyways in the town. Tonight, we're going to print off flyers and post them everywhere we see fit, okay?"

I sniffled and nodded into his chest. Papa, in return, just continued to hold me and stroke my hair, muttering words to me that were supposed to make me feel better. They didn't work. Yet what we failed to notice was a quick little pop-up appearing in the bottom right corner of the screen saying "Thank you for purchasing our package deal! Your first unit will arrive in 2-3 days!" before disappearing.

Waking up the next morning was hard, but Deliverance forced me to wake up. Seeing that I wasn't going to be in the best of moods, my parents and Deliverance decided to let me stay home and call the local animal shelters. Not wanting to start an argument with them, I agreed and let them run off around town. There was no success. The second day I actually ventured out of my house and looked around with Dad but still no sign of Annie or Milashka. My hopes of ever seeing my babies again was dwindling by the hour. On the third day, I once again stayed home to call animal shelters, even ones outside of town.

It was around 2, the usual time when my house receives mail, when I was dialing up another animal shelter. It was the third and last animal shelter in town and I was just praying to whatever deity was out there that my precious babies were there and safe. Before I could even put in the last number, my doorbell started ringing. It wasn't even a fun doorbell. It just makes buzzing sounds that annoys the hell out of everyone in my family. And because whoever was there was pressing it non-stop, it was starting to piss me off.

"Hold your horses!" I yelled, hopping down from the stool I sitting on by the counter and jogged to the front door. "I'm coming!"

At my front door was a man dressed from head to toe in green. He looked to be in early to mid thirties with brown hair but it was mostly covered up by a hat that had a pair of green wings embroidered on it. The man looked at me with kind blue eyes that held just a hint of sadism and smiled then gave me a small wave.

"Hello, ma'am. Could you sign this please?" The man asked politely and held out a clipboard towards me.

I cautiously took the clipboard and read over it. "May I ask what was sent to my house?"

His smile widened. "Oh, you'll find out soon enough, Miss Neils."

Shrugging, I signed the clipboard and completely missed the fact that he knew my name. We usually get packages sent to us at least once or twice a month from our relatives in England. Most of the time it's a couple of t-shirts for the rents, tea for Choice, some sort of video game for Deliverance, and a Doctor Who item for me. They like to send them in big moving boxes, just so they can fill them to the brim with those tiny styrofoam bits that stick to you and is nearly impossible to get rid of, just like glitter.

The man took back the clipboard and wheeled in a giant ass crate. It easily loomed over me, nearly six feet tall! I examined the crate with a frown and an uneasy feeling settled in my stomach. The man started to leave, wishing me a good day, when I caught a look at a logo on one of the sides. The logo was a flying mint bunny in mid-flight with the name of the manufacturing company circling the creature. I had a right to have that bad feeling because I immediately knew what was inside the crate.

I ran to the door, prepared to yell at the man to take back crate but he was already speeding away in a large blue mailing truck.

"You have got to be kidding me!" I yelled to the heavens above and slammed the door shut.

Glaring at the crate, I trudged over to it and saw an object heavily taped to it. Obviously someone was too lazy to put it in an envelope or something. I ripped it off the wooden container and peeled the tape off and saw that it was a manual for whatever unit I ordered.

'IVAN BRAGINSKY: User guide and Manual'

"Oh . . . shit." I don't mean to bad mouth him, he's actually my favorite character. Despite being very creepy, he was also kind of cute. But I'm not sure how my family will handle it, the fact a very intimidating unit thingy will be living with us. And that the unit thingy is male.

I sat back on my stool and looked from the manual in my hands to the phone. How long do I really want to hold this off? "Like Choice always says, it's better to get it over and done than feel that agonizing feeling of a kid waiting to open Christmas presents when it's still a week away."

As quickly as I could, I ran down to my basement and looked through Dad's tool box and almost immediately found his old crow bar. I grabbed it and ran back upstairs. Then I grabbed the manual and flipped through it, looking at some solutions to waking him up. Most ended up with him running off in search of some unit, except the first.

"Here we go," I whispered to myself and took a deep breath. "брат!"

Just like the manual said, I immediately heard sobbing coming from the inside of the crate. But there were no chains to unlock so I pried one of the long sides off and immediately Russia stopped crying. On second thought, I should probably start calling him Ivan. He does come with a name so I should call him by that.

"You're not Natalya!" he said, almost sounding thankful for that fact.

"Nope!" I said, popping the P. "I'm Independence, but I'd prefer it if you would call me Indie."

The Russian cautiously poked his head outside the box, looking just a bit worried. "Is Natalya here?"

I smiled up at the tall Russian and gently grabbed his arm and led him out of his box. "She's not here, nor anyone else. Just me and you and . . . Oh shit! The shelter!" I yelled and ran over to my phone. I pressed the call button after dialing the last number and put the phone to my ear. I was immediately greeted by one of my best friends: Snow.

"Berry's Animal Shelter," Snow said into the phone, sounding just a bit dazed.

"Snow! It's Indie, you know? The girl you've been friends with for nearly eight years? The girl who converted you to anime? She just about saved your ass a million times when it came to tests-"

"I get it Indie!" Snow exclaimed but there was a giggle in her voice. "What's up?"

"Why else would I call you during work, dummy? Is Annie and Milashka there?"

"Not sure, I could go check if-"

"For the love of all that is holy, YES!"

"Okay, jeez! You don't need to scream!" Snow snapped. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Don't hang up."

"Alright," I said dejectedly.

I looked over at where I left Ivan and squeaked, yes squeaked, in surprise and nearly fell off my stool. He was standing right next to me, a bit too close for comfort, just staring down at me. I laughed nervously a bit and wiggled my fingers at him as a sign of hello.

"Hello, Ivan," I said.

"Zdravstvuyte!" Ivan said with his smile, which I found to be very cute. But the next thing that happened, I would never forget for the rest of my life. He leaned down so he was eye level with me and . . . kissed me on the mouth. It was more like a peck but it still made me turn red like Spain's tomatoes. Because one: I just met him and he kissed me. Two: I had virgin lips before that happened, sad right? And three: He. Fucking. Kissed. Me.

"Y-You-But-ki-kiss!" I stuttered out, mentally facepalming at how stupid I sounded.

"Hey, Indie, you there?" I heard from the phone.

I immediately turned my attention back to the phone, though my face was still red. "H-hey Snow."

"You okay? Before you answered, it sounded like you were having a panic attack or something." Snow said.

"Fine, I'm fine. So are my babies there?" I mentally cursed myself when my voice when an octave higher when I said the first fine.

"Yep, Don said that they came in last night. Found them on the edge of town." Snow said.

I sighed, relieved that they were alright. "Okay! I'm going to be there in a jiffy! And . . ." I looked at Ivan from the corner of my eye. ". . . Don't freak out when I show up, okay?"

"Huh? Why would I-"

"Bye Snowy! Wuv you!" I yelled and hung up. I turned to Ivan and faintly blushed again. "S-so I have to go and get my dogs . . . I'm afraid to leave you alone, so do you want to come with me? We'll have to walk because my Dad and my brother have the cars."

He smiled and nodded. "Da."

I hopped off my stool and headed for the door. He was right on my tail, acting like nothing just happened. I'll have to look that up later.

* * *

**Hallo, is'a me, Gabrielle. So I've jumped on to the band wagon and wrote a manual fic. So sue me (please don't). Any who, random facts about the story.**

**1: Milashka means Cutie in Russian (Google translated it, so if it's wrong, then blame Google)**

**2: If you haven't guessed yet, her parents are very patriotic people.**

**3: The kiss . . . if you look it up of Russia's wiki character page, then you'll know why he did it. If you are too lazy, then it shall remain secretive until the next chapter.**

**Until next time, au revoir my lovelies!**


	2. Chapter 2

Oh god . . . it's too quiet. It's the awkward quiet too. Crap, what do I say? Oh, crap! He's looking at me now! What do I say? What do I say!

"Comrade Indie, who are Annie and Milashka?" Ivan asked out of the blue.

"Well, they're my dogs. Annie is a German Shepherd, bout four years old now. Milashka is my Russo-European Laika. She's almost one, just a month away." I said with a smile.

"And who is Snow?"

"One of my friends. She's a couple of inches shorter than you, has green hair-maybe. She likes to change it a lot to 'rebel' against her parents." I said, using air quotes. "Snow is also Italian and cooks enough to feed an entire army of soldiers."

"What about you, Indie?" Ivan asked with what people would call his creepy smile. I just found it cute, you know, once I got passed the ominous aura around him.

"Well . . . I live with my parents and I have two older siblings: Choice is my older sister. I don't get to see her very often because of her work. Then there's Deliverance. He's my older brother who also lives at home. Speaking of which, I should probably tell him that Milashka and Annie are safe."

The awkward silence between us continued on after I called Deliverance. I only broke it because around 10 minutes later, we arrived at the friendly yet plain looking animal shelter. At the front desk was Snow, with black asymmetrical A-line hair this time, on the ground with Annie on top of her, licking her face to death.

"Annie! Milashka!" I called and Milashka came running out from a hall and jumped on me. I giggled as Annie ran over as well and both were barking and licking me. I guess they really missed me.

Snow's laughter died down as she sat up, regaining her composure. "So why did you tell me not to freak out?"

"Look to my left." I said, petting Milashka with one hand and scratching Annie behind her ear with the other.

Her dark brown eyes wandered over to my left and widened when she saw my newest friend. Ivan smiled. "Privet."

Without warning, I was ripped away from my doggies, who turned their attention to Ivan. Snow held me by my shoulders and was shaking me repeatedly.

"WhythefuckisRussiastandingthere? WhythefuckisRussiastandingthere? WHY THE FUCK IS RUSSIA STANDING THERE!" Snow screeched at me.

. . . Russia kind of scares her.

"Let me go!" I yelled, though it sounded funny because she was still shaking me. "Let me go, Snow! I'm gonna be sick!"

Finally, the tall woman released her killer grip on me. It was then when we heard a "Kol"-ing noise emanating from Ivan. We both turned to him and although my babies were jumping on him to get him to pet them, the evil purple aura was surrounding him. Now I found him scary and instead of cute.

"Why were you harming Indie?" Ivan asked, still sounding childish.

Snow decided that was a good time to use her number one defense move. Using me as a meat shield. "I didn't mean to! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"

"Snowy, stop it!" I whined, trying to move but she kept a firm grip on me. "I'm not a good shield! 'Sides, I'm way too short for you!"

"Keep him sane and not murderous and you've got a deal," Snow replied shakily.

I yanked myself away from my friend, pouting. I marched up to Ivan and grabbed his arm. "He's not murderous, he just needs a friend, which I will happily be. And you cannot complain about that Miss Dumbledore-is-a-bitch-and-Voldemort-needs-a-hug-an d-I-hate-Rudolph!"

"But he just uses Harry and all Rudolph teaches you is that the only way society will accept you is if a higher power uses you!"

I stuck my tongue out at her to which she rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Lets go Ivan, Milashka, Annie!" I dragged Ivan out of the shelter with Annie and Milashka on either side of us.

About a minute into our walk home I finally got the guts to look up at Ivan. He was staring at me with his childish purple eyes and the smile that I was very fond.

"What?"

"You want to be my friend?"

I nodded. "Yep. I wanna be your friend."

Suddenly, Ivan picked me up in a bear hug that was cutting off my breathing. "Oh spasibo, podruga!"

"I-Ivan! Air!" I managed to say yet it was raspy. "Air Ivan! Human! Need! AIR!"

He gave me one last tight squeeze before setting me down. I gulped in the precious air. Milashka tugged at my jean shorts and ran ahead a little ways. Annie ran after her.

"Wait, Milashka! Annie!" I ran after them and Ivan ran after me.

The way home was much faster than going to the animal shelter simply because Annie and Milashka made us run all the way there. Before I could even step on to my property, the front door flung open and Deliverance was there, calling the dogs inside. They ran passed him inside and Deliverance turned to look at me . . . then glared harshly at Ivan. My family tends to be protective of me . . . very protective, especially after I hit puberty.

"Shit," I whispered and laughed nervously, giving Deliverance a two fingered salute.

"What is wrong, podruga?" Ivan asked.

"I forgot to mention that you're staying with us," I said quietly.

Inside, I was immediately torn away from Ivan and pulled into a hug by Papa. "Oh baby girl! Leave a note whenever you leave the house! I nearly had a heart attack when we found you weren't home!"

"I'm sorry, Papa, I just wanted to get Annie and Milashka back." I gestured over to my babies, who were playing with Dad.

Oh, that wasn't a typo. I have Papa and Dad, my parents, the rents, the adult figures of the house. My parents are a married gay couple that love me and my siblings dearly and we love them back with an equal amount of love. And to shove it into our snooty neighbor's faces, they went to every school event we had to go to, went to all of Choice's and Deliverance's soccer and baseball games, kiss and hold hands in public, make dirty jokes loudly when they're around, hell, they even call each other names that are so cutesy and cheesy that they make you sick!

"Um, Independence, who is your friend?" Papa asked, looking at Ivan.

"And why the fuck is there a giant crate in here?" Dad exclaimed, escaping Annie and Milashka. Such a lovely mouth he has that his children has inherited.

When he entered the room, his playful eyes turned harsh and protective when he saw Ivan. His kind smile twisted into a cruel and cocky smirk. This happens every time I bring a male home and it always scares them away. But Ivan is different. He's Russian _and_ he's Russia. The only thing that scares him is Belarus.

I pulled away from Papa and prepared myself for the insults, laughter, and yelling to come. "This is Ivan Braginsky, and he's staying with us because I . . . kind of . . . own him? Is that the right term?"

"Privet!" Ivan greeted them.

Dad huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. Papa rolled his eyes at Dad and my brother, who did the same as Dad. Meanwhile, I hid behind Ivan. I decided to screw the idea of preparing myself and wimped out, using Ivan as my meat shield.

"Dear, stop it. Now. You're embarrassing your daughter." Papa said, nodding his head towards me. I was blushing faintly because Papa was right. "And me."

"Just what the hell do you mean you own him!" Dad yelled, making me squeal and jump at the volume in his voice. When he's yelling at other people like this, I don't mind. But when he yells at me like that, then I'm like America when he watches scary movies.

"It was an accident that I'm not even sure how it happened!" I whimpered.

Ivan pushed me further behind him as his aura returned. "You are scaring my podruga and I do not think she likes it."

Deliverance backed off a little but my Dad remained where he was and how he was.

"Oh, so he's calling you pet names now!" Dad said loudly. "Listen you commie bastard-"

Now it was my time to come out of hiding and push Ivan behind me. My face was red with anger now. Dad backed off a little, realizing his mistake. Papa and Dad always told me to never judge a book by it's cover and I always followed by that. But sometimes, when there's a male of any race in the house that I bring home, he gets like, well, you know!

"Russia is not a communist anymore! God, why is it that you have to freak out and be like this every time I come home with some guy?" I yelled angrily.

"Nice going, Theo, you set her off. Again." Papa moaned.

"There was the time when I was 13 and brought home Johnny, you brought out your stupid gun collection and started cleaning it; I haven't spoken to him since! Then there was the time when I was 14 and invited the German exchange student over."

"What happened that time?" Deliverance asked, apparently absent the day that happened.

"He started telling him Grampa's story about World War II, the one where he was in the crater when a German soldier fell in." I glared at Dad.

Deliverance shook his head then turned to Dad. "You really should have just given him a challenge instead of trying to make him run away."

"Independence, Indie! Please, Honey-"

"No! Don't you say you're fucking sorry to me, Dad!" I yelled and grabbed him by the arm, clawing my fingernails into his flesh, and yanked him forward so he was in front of Ivan. "Apologize to Ivan!"

"But Sweetie-"

"Do it or I'll tell Papa about what really happened at Choice's graduation!" I hissed into his ear loud enough so only he would hear. "How I really remembered what happened that night."

Now, it was time for Dad to blush and shake with fear. Dad, begrudgingly, apologized to Ivan, who accepted the forced apology. But right after that, Dad regained his "tough guy" attitude and recrossed his arms.

"Well, if this guy is going to live here, he needs to pass a test of admission." Dad pouted.

Deliverance grinned. "How 'bout a drinking contest, Dad?"

I grinned and said "Ivan accepts-only if the drink is vodka though."

Dad smirked, thinking he had this in the bag. Vodka was absolutely his favorite alcoholic beverage of all time and boy he could sure hold his vodka. But it was nothing compared the Ivan. As I stated before, he's Russian and he's Russia, he is pretty much fueled by vodka.

"Sure thing Sweetie. Dee, go get the vodka from the basement!" Dad barked at Deliverance.

In return, he gave a small salute then ran to the basement. Dad and Ivan moved over to the dining room. I shut the front door, smiling quite evilly, catching Papa's attention. He raised an eyebrow but said nothing and followed the men. Milashka pawed at my leg, wanting my attention. I smiled at her and pet her a few times until Deliverance returned with Dad's bottle of Stolichnaya vodka. I vaguely remember when skimming through Ivan's manual that he came with a few bottles of the same brand and that it was preferred.

When I entered the dining room, they had already started drinking. Deliverance and Papa were placing some bets quietly in the corner while Ivan and Dad drank and spat some insults at each other. I chuckled at the sight then walked into the kitchen.

"What to eat for . . ." I looked over at the clock above the stove and it was already 4:10. ". . . Dinner. The day went by fast . . ."

"Stop talking to yourself, weirdo." I heard Deliverance say from behind me.

I am not a weirdo, I am simply a nerd. A mature, well behaved, nerdy woman.

So in response, I turned around and stuck my tongue out at him.

Oh yeah, I'm soo mature and well behaved . . . I need to stop having conversations with myself inside my head.

Deliverance stuck out his tongue right back at me. He sat at the counter, looking through my laptop. I went back to searching through the cupboards and the refrigerator. As the minutes ticked by, I began to pull various food related objects out of the refrigerator and various sizes of pans out of the bottom cupboard.

"What are you making tonight?" Deliverance asked, scrolling through some website or through one of his unpublished stories.

"Tonight, we'll be having breakfast for dinner. Bacon, eggs, toast, maybe some waffles." I said and was already heating up a pan and placing a few strips of bacon in them.

"Are you going to need anything from the store?"

I shook my head and cracked two eggs in another pan. "Nothing fancy tonight, just something really simple."

". . . So what did you mean by owning your friend?" Deliverance asked, sounding genuinely interested.

I moaned and was very tempted to face palm but resisted the urge, having remnants of egg goo on the tips of my fingers and wanting to keep them as clean as possible. "It's kind of a long story . . ."

"I'm listening," He kind of sang out.

I cracked a smile and moved the eggs around, knowing that my family only likes scrambled eggs. "So, you know how I'm a nerd?"

I heard him gasp. "No!"

"Yes!"

"Nu!"

"Yas!"

"Nyuoh!"

"Shut up!" I tried to sound threatening, but it came out as laughter. He smiled cheekily at me before looking through the laptop once again. "You want me to tell you?"

"Oh, please, continue."

"Well, a couple of nights ago, an ad popped up on my screen saying that I could buy some Hetalia units-Hetalia, as in the anime show I like that's only 5 minutes long."

He tilted his head to the side, looking curiously at the screen before nodding, signaling me to go on.

"Well, I pressed the decline button, but it went ahead and told me which one I would like to order. I shut it off, yet somehow it ordered Ivan and a few days later, he's, well, here." I said, knowing how crappy that explanation was. "So, Dee, what do you think I should-Deliverance?"

I turned around to look at him. My brother was pale, as though he'd seen a ghost. "Deli-"

"STOP LOOKING AT ME! WHAT! I DIDN'T TOUCH ANYTHING! YOU HAVE NO PROOF!" Deliverance screamed at me before running down into the basement.

I blinked. Once. Twice. Three times.

What the hell got into him?

"What the hell got into him?" I heard Dad voice my thoughts from the dining room.

"I'll go check on him, and you two . . . don't start fist fighting while I'm gone." Papa sighed then went after Deliverance, calling his name.

By the time I was done with dinner, Dad and Ivan were still at it. Though Dad was slowly was succumbing to the alcohol, he wouldn't give up. I sighed and stepped up to the table, taking away both of their shots.

"Independence!" Dad growled at me, but I glared harshly at him.

"That was not a nice thing to do, podruga." Russia said, getting that creepy vibe going.

It sent a chill down my spine, but I refused to back down. "Stop drinking, Dad, you're already getting drunk and Ivan is perfectly fine. Face it, he won."

"No! He can't stay here, or else he's going deflower you!" Dad said rather childishly.

". . . Are you kidding me?" I sighed then hefted Dad up to his feet. "Lets go, you're going to drink plenty of water. Come on Ivan, dinner is ready."

His creepy aura went away and he smiled childishly at me. "Alright, podruga."

All three of us walked into the kitchen. I helped Dad getting some water into his system and Ivan politely waited by the counter, looking around the kitchen. His eyes landed on my laptop. I walked over to Ivan, carrying two plates of eggs, bacon, and stove-cooked toast with forks, and placed them on the counter. I sat down and patted the stool next to the one I sat on. Ivan smiled and sat next to me. At this time, Deliverance and Papa were making their way up the stairs, Deliverance looking embarrassed and Papa giggling like a maniac.

I stabbed some eggs with my fork and lifted it to my mouth, pausing midway. My eyes landed on the frozen screen of my precious laptop. The fork fell from my hands. Frozen perfectly on my screen was "Thank you for ordering our GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit! Your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit will arrive in one-two weeks!"

"Deliverance," I called out, turning to my brother. He paled instantly, knowing what was coming. "You . . .You . . . YOU IDIOT! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!"

"N-Now Indie-"

"SHUT UP YOU DUMBASS! NOT ONLY DID YOU ORDER ANOTHER UNIT, _**BUT MY LAPTOP IS FROZEN!**_" I screamed at him. He ran out the front door and I chased him around the front yard. "GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE SO I CAN KICK IT INTO NEXT WEEK!"


	3. Chapter 3

"Podruga?"

"Yes Ivan?" I looked up from my computer screen and saw his head peeking in through the doorway.

"The van is here," Ivan said and walked away.

It has been about a week and a half since Ivan arrived. Though there have been many instances where my life was in danger, everything turned out fine. But we have been going through vodka like a snap of the fingers ever since Ivan came. Sure, he drinks it morning, noon, and night, but he knows how to make it last, so it's not that that is the problem. It's just that Ivan and my Dad repeatedly have drinking contests and this further irritates Papa and I. Deliverance just laughs his ass off whenever they go at it.

I stood up from the couch, setting the laptop on the coffee table, and walk to the front door right as the doorbell rang. Opening it, it was the same guy who dropped off Ivan. He was still smiling and he still had sadistic blue eyes. I frowned when I saw him.

"Morning to you too, Sunshine." He said cheerfully and held out the clipboard. "Sign please?"

I snatched the clipboard and hastily signed the form. "So I assume the Gilbert came in?"

He nodded. "And your second unit."

"Second? I thought I only got Ivan," I said, now dreading the fact that I may have more people in my home. Perverted people.

"Nope! According to what the head honcho told me, you signed up for our package deal!" He said cheerfully.

I moaned, covering my face with my hands. "Great . . . just bring them in . . ."

"War. Conan War, ma'am!" He tipped his hat to me then proceeded to wheel in one crate.

I went down to the basement again to retrieve the crowbar. Though, I should really just keep it upstairs if I'm going to get another unit. When I came back up, Conan was gone and Ivan was inspecting the boxes with Annie and Milashka at his heels. The dogs, especially Milashka, had taken a liking to my Russian friend. He took a liking to them in return, often making sure they had enough food and played around long enough for their daily exercise. Almost every single day he has been here, Ivan has asked me if he could take them on walks with the most adorable look on his face. Of course I can't say no.

"Hey Ivan, do you have the manuals?" I asked, approaching him.

He looked at me with a childish smile. "Zdravstvuyte, Indie!"

Pulling a Germany, I held up my hand before he could peck me on the lips again. "Ivan, you are a good friend, but we already talked about this. Either blow a kiss or greet me in another form."

He pouted childishly, standing back up. "But Indie-"

"Ivan," I said with a fake pout. "You promised and friends don't break promises!"

He smiled once again. "Okay, podruga. I shall blow kisses!"

Immediately the day after, I looked up why when I first met him, he kissed me. Well, according to the Hetalia wiki website, it's how he greets good friends. I assume that he is programmed to believe that at first glance, the owner of the unit is a very good friend.

"Now that that is settled, do you have the manuals?" I asked again and he nodded, pulling two duct taped manuals from his long coat. I grabbed one manual and flipped through it, looking for the ways to wake them up. The one I received was South Korea, or Im Yong-Soo.

With crowbar in hand, I pried off the nearest crate and was glad it was my unit. I honestly don't want to know what will go down when Russia finds out Gilbert is here. We'll just cross that bridge when we get to it.

"Okay Ivan, how should we wake up Im Yong-Soo?" I asked as I reached the desired page. He peered over my shoulder and read along with me. "We have five options, which should we go with?"

"Hmm, what do you say, Indie?" Ivan questioned me.

"Well, one is out along with five, and I don't want to get a lecture, so two or three." I mumbled.

"Two," I van said.

I nodded. "Yeah, I prefer not to smell kimchi just yet, I've heard it's not that pretty."

Reaching in the crate to grab a smaller box, I opened it and saw 4 discs, a drawing pad, and four jars of kimchi. Grabbing the disc labeled "Arirang" I walked over to the stereo player, turned it on, and inserted the disc. The second it started playing, Ivan and I covered our ears from the loudness of the song. The box I had once been carrying fell to the ground, effectively ruining everything inside. The DVD's cracked and the jars shattered, spilling kimchi all over the drawing pad. I glared at the stereo, seeing the volume was all the way up at 65. Damn Deliverance trying to pull a prank again.

Quickly turning the volume down to a nice 25, I picked up the box and ran all the way to the kitchen, the smell of kimchi already overpowering my sense of smell. I threw the soggy box into the trashcan, pulled the trash bag out of the trash can, and ran outside to the larger trash cans. After throwing it away, when I walked back inside, Im Yong-Soo was out of his crate, happily singing along with the Korean folk song.

Ivan stood by the unopened crate, growing more aggravated as the song progressed. Walking passed the two males, I shut off the stereo, cursing Deliverance under my breath. Turning around, I yelped in surprise as I was jumped by the Korean unit.

"Your breasts belong to me, da-ze!" He yelled, groping my chest.

"Get off me, you pervert!" I yelled and shoved him off me.

He had that gleam in his eye that told me he wouldn't give up so easily. Immediately, I turned and ran towards Ivan, Im Yong-Soo chasing me rather gleefully. It was very . . . strange to put it lightly. But as soon as I hid behind Ivan, Im Yong-Soo stopped in his tracks, turning pale and laughing nervously. Ivan had turned on his scary aura and creepy smile. Coughing slightly, I stood in front of Ivan, positive that the younger looking unit wouldn't try anything.

"I'm Independence, call me Indie, welcome to my home, yadda, yadda, yadda." I said and felt two somethings brush up against my legs. "Oh, and these are my dogs, Annie and Milashka. Hurt them in anyway, shape or form, prepared to be castrated by a crowbar."

"Annyeonghaseyo, my name is Im Yong-Soo, da-ze!" He exclaimed then all of heard this horrifying noise. It sounded like a demonic whale mating with an elephant and the elephant gave birth to an adorable half demonic whale-elephant hybrid. "I'm hungry! Do you have kimchi?"

Mystery solved.

"Well! Now that we have introductions, lets wake up the other unit!" I laughed nervously. Well, guess who gets to go shopping today? "Ivan, can I have the other manual please?"

His creepy aura when away as he handed me the manual. I skimmed through it until I landed on the waking up page. There were four options this time and option two was out, because I did not have any Austrian apple strudel on hand nor did I have a piano. I also would like to keep my virginity for now. I can't do number one because ever since Ivan arrived, Dad has put all alcohol under lockdown unless he was having a drinking contest with Ivan.

"Who is it, Indie?" Ivan asked, trying to look at the manuel. I slammed the book shut and stuffed it up my shirt so Ivan wouldn't see. I turned to look at him. "Hey Ivan, I think Milashka and Annie need to go for a walk."

Ivan chuckled. "Silly Indie, I already took them out for their morning walk, remember?"

"Right . . . well, why don't you show Im Yong-Soo around the house?"

"But Indieeeeeeeeee! I want you to show me around, daze!" Im Yong-Soo whined, tugging on the back of my shirt like a child. "Plus I'm hungry!"

"Indie who is it?" Ivan asked again but I remained silent. His smile widened back into the creepy smile and his aura returned. I frowned but refused to give up the information. I really don't want to deal with an angry or submissive Gilbert. I would turn on the Gilbird but that means I would have to open the crate and Ivan would see then shit would hit the fan. But then Ivan started to kolkolkol, and it's rather creepy. Scary. Terrifying. You get my drift.

"Indie, just tell him, da-ze," A frightened Im Yong-Soo whimpered, shaking my shoulders as he did so.

"F-Fine!" I squeaked and waited for the Korean to stop shaking me. ". . . It's Gilbert Beilschmidt."

"Oh! Kaliningrad!" Russia smiled, snapping out of his creepy mode. Boy, wasn't he bi-polar today.

There was the snapping sound of wood and next thing I know, Im Yong-Soo and I are on the ground, under a large piece of Gilbert's crate. As we moaned in pain, trying to regain our senses, the sound of Gilbert screaming in German and the sound of breaking glass could be heard all the way down the street. Im Yong-Soo flipped the wood off of us and stood up, then helped me stand up. Leaning back, I attempted to cracked my back and that was what saved me from getting impaled in the head by Ivan's pipe. I stood straight up and watched in horror at the scene before me. Gilbert was chasing down Ivan, grabbing nearby things and throwing them at him but missing by five miles. I snapped out of my daze when he picked up my laptop and threw it. My precious went flying towards my dogs, who at some point decided that this was boring and took a nap by the staircase.

"Mierda, merda, merde, shit!" I yelled, running towards my babies. "Ivan, Yong-Soo! Knock him out or something!"

Instead of thinking with my brain and catching the laptop in mid air, I leapt and covered my babies with my body. Seconds later, the laptop hit my head . . . hard. The laptop fell on to the ground, just an inch from touching Annie. Welp, I probably have a concussion thanks to the albino. Still, I cried out in pain. Slowly, I sat up straight, whimpering in pain. Annie and Milashka jumped up and started to lick my face. I must have been crying.

"Hey, Indie!" Yong-Soo shouted. "We knocked him out! What now?"

"Re-Reprogram him, please . . ." I murmured, desperately trying to hold down my swears until after they reprogrammed him. A few minutes later and they gave me the okay.

I sucked in a deep breath and let out, quite loudly loudly, a long string of curse words that surprised the units and I'm sure would give Papa a heart attack if he heard. By the time I was done, Yong-Soo and Ivan walked over to me.

"Podruga, are you okay?" Ivan asked, sounding slightly concerned.

"NO I AM NOT OKAY! A FUCKING LAPTOP HIT MY HEAD AND I AM SURPRISED THAT I AM NOT BLEEDING!" I screeched, scaring off my babies.

"Let us look, da-ze!" Yong-Soo demanded, apparently determined to help my aching head.

Gently, one of the two felt around the back of my head, quickly coming across and very large bump. By even just barely touching it, I let out another string of curses. My moved around my short white-blonde hair in an attempt to see the lump better. The hands left my head and Yong-Soo picked up my laptop. It was in perfect condition thanks to my hard head. Ivan helped me stand up and Yong-Soo typed away on my no-longer-precious laptop. He led me over to the couch, stepping over a knocked out Gilbert on the way.

"Indie, do you have a headache-" I glared at him in a 'what-do-you-think' way. "Um, right! Do you feel dizzy, or confused, or do you have a ringing in your ear, or do you feel like throwing up, or all of the above, da-ze?"

I took a moment to answer the questions. ". . . Yeah, I feel dizzy which is making me feel sick, and I do hear a ringing."

"I think you have a concussion, da-ze." Yong-Soo said and set the laptop on the coffee table so it faced me and Ivan. It had a list of symptoms but didn't give us information on how to deal with it.

"Fan-fucking-tastic," I muttered under my breath and sighed. "Ivan, call Deliverance for me, please? He's the closest and actually has some medical knowledge, he'll know what to do."

He nodded and stood up, looking for a phone that Gilbert may have thrown at him or not. Yong-Soo stayed by my side, quizzing me on random things. I answered each of them, but the longer Ivan was searching, the more tired I was getting.

"Indie! Don't go to sleep!" Yong-Soo yelled as my eyes started drooping. "When is your birthday, da-ze!"

"August . . . 26," I mumbled.

"How many siblings do you have!"

"Two, Choice and Deliverance."

"Ivan! Hurry up, da-ze!" Yong-Soo yelled, waking up the third unit.

"Ow, mein awesome head," Gilbert moaned, sitting up on the carpeted floor. "Oh, I think I'm going to be sick."

"How did you guys knock him out?" I asked, looking up at Yong-Soo.

"I grabbed one of your frying pans and hit him, da-ze!" Yong-Soo said proudly.

"Yeah, well I think you gave him a concussion . . . can you guys get concussions?"

Yong-Soo just shrugged.

"Well, quiz him for a bit, see if he's okay." I said and leaned back into the comfy couch.

"Yes ma'am, da-ze!" Yong-Soo saluted me then ran over to Gilbert.

Finally, some peace and quiet over here. My eyes slid shut, a small smile on my face. I could finally get some sleep.

"Podrugaaa~" Ivan whispered. I could feel him breathing. Why could I feel him breathing?

I opened my eyes slowly, then screamed and fell off the couch. Ivan was just half an inch away from my face, watching me like a creep.

"Y-yeah Ivan?" I asked, not getting up from the floor.

He giggled at my reaction. "Deliverance will be here soon to check on you and Kaliningrad-"

"Don't call me that, arschloch!" Gilbert yelled from his place on the floor.

"Please Ivan, don't call him that. I don't want to deal with any more fighting today," I pleaded, looking up at Ivan with the best puppy dog eyes I could conjure up.

He smiled childishly and gently grabbed my hand, pulling me up to my feet. "Okay, podruga, that's what friends do. They do favors for each other!"

I smiled. "Yeah-"

"So you will do me a favor and become one with me, da?" Ivan was still smiling childishly and it just seemed so wrong!

I blushed and sighed. "Ivan, I am concussed, so please, later."

"I am not hearing a no~"

The front door slammed open. " . . . What the hell happened to our home!"

* * *

**Hallo~ Is'a me, Gabby! Here is the third chapter on my manual fic!**

**Enjoy! Also, it wouldn't hurt to review or something . . .**

**Just putting it out there.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hiya, it'sa me, Gabrielle.**

**Sorry I haven't updated in months but laziness and no inspiration and stuff. And I know it's a bit weird that I have an A/N at the beginning of the chapter instead of the end, but it's just a warning that this chapter gets kind of sad and stuff.**

**But I hope you like it~**

* * *

Deliverance stood in the war zone that is our house. Broken furniture, dishware, and unidentified objects were strewn about the floor. Yong-Soo was standing over an irritated Gilbert, constantly questioning him. Ivan had an iron grip on my hands, his face stuck on a smile.

"H-Hey Dee." I greeted and tried to slip my hands out of Ivan's. Yeah, that was not going to happen.

"What happened?" He demanded, slamming the door behind him.

"Your unit came, his manual is . . ." Huh, when did it fall out of my shirt? I looked around and spotted it by the part of the crate that knocked me and Yong-Soo over. I pointed to it and said "Right there."

Walking over, he picked up the manual and flipped through it, looking bored. The he just tossed it over his shoulder and sighed. "What the hell are we going to do about this mess?"

"Well," I yanked my hands out of Ivan's grip. "After you're done checking out my head and Gilbert's, I am going shopping to replace what Gilbert and Ivan broke and buy Yong-Soo kimchi and drawing pads and DVD's. Actually, you come with me. You're able to buy vodka and beer." I turned to the units. "You three are going to clean up this place, throw away the broken things and make the place look presentable."

"Why does the awesome me have to clean?" Gilbert demanded, jumping to his feet then swayed a bit.

"Because you caused this mess!" I hissed. "Now get to work, all of you!"

"But Indie-"

"No buts, now WORK!" I yelled then winced when I made my own head ache.

Deliverance shooed Ivan away and had me sit back down on the couch, dragging Gilbert along the way. As he was asking us various questions and examining us, he came to the conclusion that Gilbert was okay but I had a concussion.

"Okay, lets go little sister." Deliverance helped me up and lead me to the door.

I raised an eyebrow. He used a different voice. The voice that means he says one thing but he does something different. "Where are you taking me?"

"The store." His voice was higher than usual.

"Deliverance . . ."

"Fine, we're going to the hospital." He confessed, keeping a tighter grip on me.

I sighed. "Honestly, why do keep forgetting? Choice is afraid of hospitals, not me. And if I remember correctly, you hate them too."

"Yes, I am terrified of them." Deliverance nodded, unusually calm at the moment. He closed the front door behind us and walked over to his car. "That is why I'm going to drop you off at the entrance. Call me when you're done."

"Dude, no. You're coming in with me! Face your fears! What if I pass out in the waiting room?" I exclaimed as he shoved me into the passenger's seat.

"You'll be in a place filled to the brim with people trained in medicine."

Deliverance started the car and we took off towards the hospital. We were arguing the whole way, which wasn't very long. We live about five to ten minutes away from the hospital, a very convenient thing in my families case. When we were younger, my siblings and I were very accident prone. Surprisingly, we never had a concussion before and hardly any broken bones.

We pulled up to the hospital and we were still arguing.

"Park and get out of the car, Deliverance!" I yelled, fumbling with his seatbelt the best he could.

"Tuck and roll, bitch! Tuck and roll!" Deliverance yelled, keeping me back with one hand.

In one quick motion, which nearly caused us to crash because the idiot didn't bother to put the car in park, he unbuckled me, pushed open my door, and push me out onto the sidewalk. I fell on my back and miraculously didn't cause any more injuries to my head. Deliverance shut the door and took off. I could hear him laughing like a maniac as he drove away. Since there was nothing I could do about my situation, I stood up and stormed into the hospital.

I sat patiently in my seat, waiting for my name to be called. My head still hurt, my stomach was churning, and all in all, I was not a happy camper. I realize now that I may have gone a little overboard in trying to make him stay, but did he really have to push me out of the car? He could've done more damage to my head. The very least he could've done was put the car in park!

"Independence." My name was called.

Sighing I got up and walked over to the nurse. She led me to examine room four and instructed me that the doctor would be in very soon. With that she left and I sat on the crinkly paper. I swung my legs, looking at the paintings with a bored expression, and waited for the doctor. The paintings were made with watercolors and honestly, I could not tell what the hell they were. It was just a horrible blend of colors.

"We've been sailing along," I started to sing quietly. "On moonlight baaaaaay. We heard the voices ringing, they seemed to say-"

"'You have stolen her heart, now don't you go 'way.'" A new voice sang with me in a high pitch voice.

I looked towards the door and froze. A little chibitalia was standing there, smiling adorably at me. He wore his little green maid outfit that no doubt anyone who saw him would think he was an adorable little girl.

"Oh, um, hello . . ." I said, wondering if this was a hallucination caused by my concussion. Can you even have hallucinations caused by a concussion? But really, what are the chances of seeing another unit that wasn't mine in this small town of ours?

"Ciao bella!" He cheered.

"Why are you here?" I asked softly, not wanting to scare the poor thing away. "And how'd you know that song?"

"Ve~ I was bored sitting in the waiting room, so I wandered back here." He admitted.

"Well then, don't be a stranger, come in. I'm Indie." I introduced myself.

He walked in and climbed up onto a normal chair across from me. "I'm Feliciano, but Lucy calls me Feli."

"Is Lucy your guardian?"

"Si!"

"So why are you here, little man?" I brought my knees up and hugged them. The doctor was sure taking their time.

"Lucy brought me with her to visit her husband, but I couldn't go see him." Feli said, somehow still smiling. "Why are you here Indie?"

"Well . . . I was hit really hard on the head so my brother took me here to get checked out." I explained as best I could in a way that I hoped Feli wouldn't freak out over.

The door opened again but this time a doctor came in. He was tall, but not nearly as tall as Ivan. His brown hair was obviously dyed, his roots being blonde. He looked at me then Feli with green eyes filled with a tired look in them. He sat down on the swivel chair.

"Hello Independence, I'm Doctor Booth. Who is this little guy?" He turned to Feli. "Is he a younger brother?"

"His name is Feliciano and he's a, um, second cousin. He's here for moral support while his mom visits my cousin." That was such a shitty excuse, I was ashamed of myself. Luckily, Doctor Booth didn't question me about the second cousin thing.

"Okay, well, you are here because you believe you have a concussion?" Doctor Booth looked at his clipboard, double checking his information. "May I ask how you came to this conclusion?"

"Well, I was rough housing with my uh, my friends. One thing lead to another and I was hit extremely hard over the head. I have a splitting headache, I feel nauseous, and I'm kind of dizzy." I explained.

"Yes, well, it certainly does sound like you have a concussion, but just to make sure, I'll do a few tests. How about little Feliciano steps out into the hall for a minute, okay?" He smiled but it was obviously forced. The man just wanted to go home and sleep after working a double shift.

"Right, Feliciano, why don't you go and find your mama." I said with a smile.

"Okay, arrivederci Indie," Feliciano hopped down from his chair and bounded out of the room.

Doctor Booth performed tests and asked me various questions, similar to what Deliverance had done earlier. Like Deliverance, he concluded that I had a concussion. As he wrote down a few things on his clipboard, Doctor Booth was telling me the do's and don'ts.

"Make sure you get plenty of rest, take tylenol to ease your headache, and don't do anything that could possibly cause you any strain for the next couple of days. I also recommend icing that bump of yours. If your symptoms become worse, then don't hesitate to come back immediately." He stood up and opened the door.

I got up and walked out the door, feeling just a bit better than when I entered. "Thank you Doctor Booth. Quick question before we part ways, but is it possible to borrow a phone here? My ride is kind of terrified of hospitals, so he just dropped me off without my cell phone."

He chuckled slightly. "Of course, just go to the front desk and ask them."

We parted ways, him heading further into the hospital while I headed towards the front desk. Sitting behind the desk was a male nurse with long dark hair in a ponytail. His name is Joseph, or as my family likes to call him, Jojo. He's been working at the hospital for a few years now and we've come in here so often that we're pretty good friends with him. At the moment, Jojo was reading a magazine for at the moment he had nothing to do. I walked up to him and coughed to get his attention. He looked up and saw me then put his magazine down.

"Hello sweetie, what can I do for you now?" Jojo asked, leaning forward with a smile on his face.

"I need to borrow a phone to call Deliverance."

"Still not over his phobia I see. What even caused his and Choice's fear of hospitals anyway?"

"It's not really my place to say." I said uncomfortably. "So phone?"

He gave me his own cell phone. I dialed Deliverance's number. It rang a few times before he picked up.

"Hello?" Deliverance said innocently.

"Yo, jerkolla, pick me up. Did you at least go shopping while I was gone?" I asked irritably.

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry your pretty little head, I got what you needed. I'll be there in ten minutes okay?" Deliverance hung up before I could reply.

I handed Jojo his phone. "Thanks for letting me use your phone, Jojo."

"No problem-"

Several screams coming from around the corridor shattered what peace we had. People were calling for doctors, running from wherever they were and

"WAH! INDIE!" A little body ran into me and wrapped their arms around my legs. It was Feli and he was bawling his eyes out.

"Feli? What's wrong?" I asked but soon found out.

"L-Lucy!" He wailed.

I scooped him up into my arms. Feli wrapped his arms around my neck in a tight grip and cried into my shoulder. I slowly wandered to the corridor, afraid of what I might see that caused Feli to be so scared. Well, just about anything scares him, but he mentioned this Lucy chick.

"Stay back miss!" A security guard stopped me from going further down the corridor. But it was too late. I already saw what made Feli so fearful. A brunette woman in her mid to late twenties was being carried away on a gurney, her clothes soaked in blood. The blood came from her arms. Instead of cutting across, she cut down her arms multiple times. She was deathly pale but a peaceful look was on her face. That must be Lucy.

"Do you know what happened?" I asked the security guard quietly, rubbing Feli's back in a soothing motion. He gave me a suspicious look in which I just rolled my eyes. "This is her kid. So I'd very much like to know what happened to her and if she's going to be okay!"

The security guard just sighed as Lucy was rushed into the E.R. "Her husband, Dean, was in a horrible accident a few weeks ago. I'm sure you heard it on the news since nothing else ever happens here." Yup, I could remember the reports. Man in his early thirties is hit by a driver who was texting. The driver who was texting died on impact but the man who was hit was in critical condition. Last I heard of him, he was in a coma. "Lucy came to visit him like usual. But during the visit, his heart stopped. The doctors did all they could, but he was dead. Lucy doesn't have any parents. Dean was her world and that kid was a close second. But with him gone, I guess she couldn't go on living anymore."

This is just a really bad day. "Is she going to be okay though?"

He hung his head low. "The doctors called it."

Fucking. Shit.

"Well thanks anyway." I mumbled and walked back to the waiting room.

Feli was still crying his tiny little heart out. I really couldn't do much but sit and try to comfort him. It was breaking my heart listening to him cry, but I just couldn't stop him.

"Independence Neils?"

I looked up at the sound of my name. A woman with her platinum blonde hair up in a bun stood in front of me. She wore a dark minty green suit with the Flying Mint Bunny logo embroidered on the breast of her blazer. The woman looked very professional, clutching a briefcase in one hand and papers in the other.

"Yes? How do you know my name?' I narrowed my eyes at the stranger.

"My name is Katherine Harris, I work for the Flying Mint Bunny Corporation. I was called here because it has come to our understanding the the owners of one Chibitalia unit have passed away." She said and sat in the chair next to me.

"That still doesn't answer my question. How do you know my name." I demanded.

"My boss sent me here to look for their unit and you. It was just luck that I found you two in the same place, together. We are asking you to take the Chibitalia unit. You don't need to worry about legal issues such as guardianship and such. We will take care of it so long as you agree to take the Chibitalia unit." Katherine explained, crossing her legs and setting her briefcase on her lap.

I looked at Feli. He was still crying, but it wasn't as loud as before. "What if I refuse?"

"Then we have to confiscate the unit and reprogram him to forget this life then ship him off to another customer." She sighed at the mortified look on my face. "I know it's not right, but that's how our company works."

". . . If I take Feli, will I suddenly be shipped two units every week? One that's mine and one the was originally planned for Lucy?" I asked, running my hand through Feli's soft hair.

"No, surprisingly. Unlike most of our customers, she actually planned on buying one unit." Katherine said, fiddling with the locks on her briefcase. "So what will it be, Miss Neils?"

". . . I'll take him in." I've only known him for less than half an hour, but he grew on me quickly. I didn't want to have his memories removed then shipped off to who knows where. I wanted to keep him, take care of him. I just hope Dad and Papa and everyone else will be okay with it.

"Excellent, I just need you to sign these papers and I will give you his manual. Everything else of his will be mailed to your house." She placed the papers on her briefcase and handed me a pen. Somehow, I managed to write my name clearly on the dotted line with Feli still clinging to me. Katherine opened her briefcase, put the papers inside, and handed me a manual. She stood up and straightened her minty green pencil skirt. "I thank you personally for taking him. Not all owners would have taken him." Then she left.

I stood up and sighed, shifting Feli in my arms in a more comfortable position. I was about to leave the hospital when Jojo called out for me. I waited by the entrance and waited for him to catch up to me.

"What did you and that lady talk about, Indie?" Jojo asked. "And why do you have that kid with you?"

"I'm . . . his legal guardian now. Listen, I'll explain later, but I have to get going before Deliverance gets impatient." I slipped out the doors and walked fairly fast down the paved walk way.

Pulling up to the curb was Deliverance in our '65 cherry red mustang. The windows were rolled down and he was blasting Led Zeppelin through the speakers. I yanked the door open and lunged for the volume knob. I turned it way the hell down and sighed.

"Hey Indie-" Deliverance saw a trembling Feli in my arms. ". . . Were you secretly pregnant and that's why you wanted me to take you to the hospital? You are chubby, so no one would really notice a baby bump-"

"No you jerk!" I whacked him on the arm and got all the way in the car. I shut the door and put the seatbelt over Feli and me. "You really don't know what to say to a woman, do you? First of all, no I wasn't pregnant. Two: he's a unit like the others. His owner . . . is gone so I, being another owner in the same town, gained custody of him. Three: you never comment on a woman's weight-ever!"

"Fine, you don't need to be so violent though." Deliverance grumbled as he pulled out of the hospital and towards home. "The guys cleaned up the house good. I ordered a new reclining chair, stools, and coffee table. I went to Wal-Mart and bought more kitchenware and hopefully Dad and Papa won't be too angry."

I sighed. "They're going to explode like Mount Vesuvius. Maybe if I make them spaghetti with some garlic bread, they won't get as mad."

"Pasta?" Feli spoke up for the first time in a while.

"Yeah, pasta. We're going to have pasta tonight, is that okay?" I smiled softly as Feli cheered and bounced on my lap. It was only a temporary happiness but it was better than having him crying. It'll take some time, but I think he'll get back into his regular funk.

"Oh, while you were gone, Gilbert and Ivan had another fight and resulted in them getting your design book drenched in my coffee." Deliverance mentioned offhandedly as we pulled into our driveway.

. . .

I'm going to have those potato and vodka bastards heads.


End file.
